[Man] Existence.
Well, what does it matter?
I exist on the best terms I can.
The past is now part of my future.
The present is well out of hand.
[Kids kicking football]
[Boy] Get it.
Lan. Pass us the ball, will you?
Knob cheese.
[# David Bowie: Drive-In Saturday]
[Door opens]
All right, lan?
[Song continues on record player]
[Door opens]
Lan.
Oh, you got it.
Today.
This is Deborah, you know, who I told you about.
From the youth club.
You can't be in my gang if you don't smoke.
Don't wanna be in your gang.
Neither do I.
[# Roxy Music: 2HB]
I think we should go.
- Now? - Yeah. I wanna go.
OK.
Lan, we're getting off.
- Who's the writer? - Who'd you think?
- [Male teacher] Glucose... - [writing on chalkboard]
...plus oxygen...
Carbon dioxide plus water.
You can clearly see here that the chemicals
are currently out of balance.
Your task will be to alter the molar ratios
in order to make the chemicals balance
before and after the combustion reaction has occurred.
Wouldn't you say that was so, Mr Curtis?
Lan?
Come on, stop messing.
Uh, Mr Curtis?
What?
Sorry, sir.
Who have we got today, then?
Mrs Brady.
- We done her before? - Don't think so.
Let's hope she's got a sympathetic doctor. [chuckles]
[Mrs Brady] I mean, I like me neighbours, don't get me wrong.
Mind you, the stink of some of them.
I tell you, they don't wash or don't know how to.
Stink, stink, stink.
Stink to high heaven of piss.
Mrs Brady, please can I use your toilet, please?
'Course you can, love.
- Second on the left, down the hall. - Thank you.
Where was I?
Oh, yes.
[Lan] It says here Cirazapan usually prescribed for schizophrenia.
Side effects include drowsiness, apathy, agitation
and blurred vision.
I'm taking two.
[Groans]
[Coughs]
[Woman] Oh, here we go. Who's that?
- [Dog barking] - Stop it now! Stop it.
- Hi. - Hi, Nick.
Nick, yeah. Hi.
- Lan. - Hi.
- [Dog barks, whimpers]
Oh, wow, a dog. What's her name?
- Tess. - [Lan] Hello, Tess.
Come around to speak to, you know...
See if she wants to... for a bit.
- Debbie. - Debbie, yeah. Yeah.
Debbie. Hi.
- Hi. - She's gorgeous. Debbie, hi.
Hi. Do you want to come in?
Hi.
My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky
So it was my life began
So is it now I am a man
So it be when I shall grow old
Or let me die
The child is the father of the man
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety
- Did you write that? - Wordsworth.
[# David Bowie: The Jean Genie]
[Chuckling]
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- I'm really excited for this. - Yeah. Same here.
Never really into Bowie before, you know, but...
It's a shame Nick couldn't come.
He did say I could go out with you.
He said it was all right. As long as I looked after you.
Did he now?
Well, I didn't want him thinking we were going behind his back or anything.
That's a bit presumptuous, don't you think?
Why?
I might not have wanted to go out with you.
- [Man] Go over there. - [Woman] All right.
[Lan] I wish I were a Warhol silkscreen
Hanging on the wall
Or little Joe or maybe Lou
I'd love to be them all
All New York City's broken hearts
And secrets would be mine
I'd put you on a movie reel
And that would be just fine
[Debbie shrieks]
I think we should get married.
Are you asking?
You're mine.
Irretrievably.
- Am I now? - Yeah.
And you know it.
[Bells chiming]
[People cheering and applauding]
Lan?
I've got a brew for you.
Lan?
[# lggy Pop: Sister Midnight]
All right, lads?
- All right. - All right, mate.
It's a bit empty in here tonight.
- Tony Wilson's over there. - Who?
Posh bloke from Granada TV.
- Oh, yeah. - One day he'll be recognising me.
- You'll have to be out a bit more. - Yeah.
Been a bit busy.
Getting married, finding a house.
Sounds like fun.
- How's the band? - Yeah. Not bad.
It's not particularly good either, is it?
No. We're pretty shite.
Be a lot less shite if we could find a singer who could sing.
I'm really looking forward to seeing this lot tonight.
Apparently they tear up the stage and kick off mid-set.
- All right? - Gotta go.
- Take it easy. - See you soon, lan.
- Embarrassed of me or something? - No.
- He's all right, him, isn't he? - Yeah.
A bit tall, bit odd, but yeah.
[# The Sex Pistols: Problems]
[Inhales] So you're really looking for a singer, then?
[# Joy Division: No Love Lost]
So, what do you like doing, Colin?
Watching telly.
- Apart from watching telly? - Hmm, having breakfast, lunch and tea.
Food? Well, that's a start.
There's plenty of jobs that involve food.
And watch telly.
- So you like food and watching telly? - That's right.
Well...
There's a job here working at Knutsford Cinema
behind the hot dog counter. How does that sound?
- I do not like hot dogs! - OK.
Well, should we give 'em a ring anyway?
[Dialling on rotary phone]
[Man] The colour scheme is fuckin' brown
Everywhere in chicken town
The fuckin' pubs are fuckin' dull The fuckin' clubs are fuckin' full
Of fuckin' girls and fuckin' guys With fuckin' murder in their eyes
A fuckin' bloke gets fuckin' stabbed Waitin' for a fuckin' cab
You fuckin' stay at fuckin' home The fuckin' neighbours fuckin' moan
Keep the fuckin' racket down This is fuckin' chicken town
- [muffled spoken word] - [Flatulence]
- I'm a bit nervous, me. - [Drumming]
Just with it being recorded and all that.
I mean, we're actually gonna be on a record.
I can play it at my gran's and everything.
How about you, Hooky? You nervous or what?
Am I fuck, man?
[Flatulence]
- What about you, lan? - This is just the start.
[Flatulence]
Steven?
- No. - [Flatulence]
The fuckin' pies are fuckin' old The fuckin' chips are fuckin' cold
The fuckin' beer is fuckin' flat The fuckin' flats have fuckin' rats
The fuckin' clocks are fuckin' wrong The fuckin' days are fuckin' long
It fuckin' gets you fuckin' down Evidently chicken town
Thank you. Good night.
[Cheers and applause]
[Applause, muffled]
Right, Warsaw, we're on.
Fuckin' hell! Who's opened the ham? You lot nervous or what?
[Man] The next band of the night, folks:
- Warsaw! - [Cheers and applause]
You all forgotten Rudolf Hess?
[Steven taps count]
[# Leaders of Men]
Lan, it's 400 pound.
Are you sure you want to do this?
I know, but...
The band are gonna pay us back.
OK.
Let's have a baby.
OK.
Four hundred quid.
What are you lot called again?
We were Warsaw. Now we're Joy Division.
Excuse me, but what happened to Slaves of Venus?
OK.
- All right. Joy Division's good. - Joy Division, eh?
What's all that about?
It's the name of a brothel German soldiers used during World War II.
Well, whatever. Studio's yours.
And it folds up to hold the record.
Have a look.
Yeah, it's good that, Bernard.
Thought-provoking.
That's right. Her name's Corrine Lewis.
Is 2.45 Thursday all right?
OK, then, Mr Mathers, she'll see you then.
Bye.
Done. He sounds keen.
[Gasping]
I'll get some water.
[Lan] When you're looking at life in a strange new room
Maybe drowning soon
Is this the start of it all?
[# Buzzcocks: Boredom]
I'd never stand for that.
What?
Being called something like "the Buzzcocks".
What are you on about?
I don't know. I don't mind the Buzz, but calling themselves Cocks.
I don't get it.
They're not calling themselves the Cocks, are they?
They're calling themselves the Buzzcocks.
Still got the word "cock" in it, though.
Just saying I wouldn't stand for it, that's all.
Shh!
[Man] They were the Buzzcocks. If you didn't know, well, now you do.
- As you'll soon know about these lot... - That's us!
... a Manchester band called Joy Division. This is an EP,
An Ideal for Living. And that wraps it up for tonight.
Keep the music coming in. Next week we have The Clash, live in the studio.
We've just been on telly, lads.
So is Tony Wilson a fan, then, or what?
That was bollocks.
He didn't even say if he liked it or anything.
- 'Course he liked it. - Well, how do you know?
He waved it in front of camera like that.
Forget the record. He's got to put us on.
Hiya.
[Hooky] There he is.
[Tony] Um, just orange juice, please.
Go on, tell him.
OK, how are you?
You're gonna go out there, it's all gonna be fine.
You're not up there having a wank, OK?
Think.
You're a twat, you are. You're a bastard.
Am I? Why is that?
Because you haven't put us on television.
Well, then, you'll be the next band I'll put on, darling.
[Man and Hooky argue]
Fuckin' right we're going on before your band, twat!
Your band ain't even a real fuckin' band.
- Fuck off. - Hooky'll do your head in.
- Fuck off! - [Puffs breath]
[# Digital]
That was superb, that, lads. It really was.
I've not seen a reaction like that
since George Best got kicked out for blasting a bouncer.
I know how you can be better... like that.
- Go on, then. - Simple. You employ me.
You play, I manage.
We all get stinkin' rich and go buy fuckin' great big houses in Cheshire.
- Job's a good 'un. - And who are you?
Rob Gretton. I already manage a couple of bands.
But they couldn't sniff the sweat round your bollocks.
You lot are somethin' else. I hold my hands up.
I am a believer in Joy Division. Fuckin' hallelujah.
I'm also resident DJ here,
which means I know anyone of any music biz use anywhere in this city.
I'll have you lot signed within the month. In fact, I guarantee it.
We've already got a manager, haven't we, lads?
- Who's that, then? - Fuckin' me.
- What's your name, mate? - Terry.
- Terry what? - Terry Mason.
Terry Mason. Tez. You mind if I call you Tez?
Tez, you know jack shit about this business. Wanna know how I know?
'Cause I haven't heard of you.
I bet you haven't even got a fuckin' telephone, have you?
Didn't think so. How will you book gigs
and cut deals without a phone, you daft cunt?
No offence. I call everyone that.
Look, I've got to pack up my gig. Ring me.
[Telephone ringing]
[Clears throat]
Rob's Records, Rob speaking.
All right, lan. Yeah, good, yeah.
Well, that's fuckin' brilliant, lan.
Well, I'll speak to you later, then.
Fine, I understand.
But you've got to sign with Factory. This isn't an issue.
We're a fresh and exciting label, you're a fresh and exciting band.
And, most importantly, we both fly the flag for the Republic of Manchester.
- Don't give a fuck about that. - I'm a royalist.
- And I suppose they're Nazis as well. - We're not Nazis.
- What about the money? - It's 50/50 on the profits.
You own all the publishing rights and can walk away at any time.
- You serious? - Rob...
I don't fuck about with talent I want to work with.
I'll even sign the contracts in my own blood if it'll make you happy.
We'll speak later, then.
Now remember, we are live, so no swearing or they will cut you off.
- What about "arse"? - What?
- Is "arse" a swear word? - "Arse", yes. It's a swear word.
- No, it's not. - Bernard,
out there I know "arse" isn't a swear word.
Here, in TV land, "arse" is most definitely a swear word.
Trust me, I know all about swearing and TV.
I'm a master of knowing when I can and when I can't.
What about "big dog's cock"? Can you say that?
[Chuckling]
No.
Seeing as how this is the first television programme
which brought you the first appearances from everyone
from The Beatles to the Buzzcocks, we like to think we bring you
the most new and interesting sounds in the North-West.
They're called Joy Division, a Manchester band
except for the guitarist who comes from Salford. A very important distinction.
This is called Transmission.
[# Transmission]
I can't believe you did it.
Must have lost about half a pint.
Shows he's serious, though.
- How you feelin', Tony? - Mmm.
I've felt better.
Hold on. You spelled Morriss wrong. It's supposed to be double S.
Tony, you're gonna have to add another S to this, kid.
Do I have to?
It's not very professional to spell the drummer's name wrong, is it?
Job's a good 'un. Thanks, Tony.
So...
...I can officially announce to the press
Joy Division have signed with Factory?
Can you fuck? I'll give you a ring and arrange a proper meeting Monday.
[Groans]
Bit of a drama queen, isn't he?
- [Gunfire] - [Horse whinnies]
[Man whistles, yells]
Lan...
...please come to bed.
Right, Geoff, well, there's your reference.
Thank you.
- [Geoff] That's fine. - Well, good luck with it.
- Thank you very much. - [Horn honking]
We are gonna be late, you know.
All right?
- What's up? - Bloody dying with the flu.
He's all right, just a bit of a sniffle.
He's fuckin' scared of playing London for the first time.
Chocks away.
[# Insight]
Well, that was shit.
First gig in London, there's nobody there.
And now I'm freezing.
I told you it's broke.
Well, you're probably just too thick to work it properly.
It's a heater, lan. You turn it on and it heats up.
And that one doesn't, 'cause it's broke.
Give us a go on your sleeping bag.
- I'm dying here. - Ten minutes. I'll give you it back.
- No. - Don't be so spoilt.
- I'm not. I'm dying! - You've got a little cold
and that's it, babyface!
- Hey! - Fuck off!
- Pack it in, the pair of you. - Ten minutes, I'll give it back!
I'm gonna crash the bloody car.
- Lan, you fuckin' menk! - Lan, calm it, mate!
- Fuckin' hell. - [Grunting]
Pull over. Steve, pull over.
[Engine revving]
Hooky, quick, quick, give us a hand.
- [Horn honking] - Yeah, I've got his knees.
Fuckin' hell.
- Lan, what's up with you, mate? - [Panting]
Fuck, I thought he was just trying to warm himself up.
This isn't right, this, Rob.
[Buzzer sounding]
- What's the story, then? - He's had some kind of fit.
Oh, right. They're clever, these doctors, aren't they?
- What kind? - Epilepsy. They're not sure.
I thought epilepsy was only for head-the-balls.
- What? - Head-the-balls. Spaccas.
Nice, Hooky, nice.
- So is he gonna be all right? - He's not said a lot.
Well, if he were chatty we'd be worried.
[Sighs]
[Man] We'll try you on... carbamazepine...
...phenytoin, tiagabine and oxcarbazipine,
to be taken with the, uh, phenobarbital that they gave you at the hospital.
In the meantime you'll be on the waiting list to see
a neurologist specialist at Macclesfield General.
You should also be getting plenty of early nights
and steering away from alcohol.
It's a matter of trial and error
until the right drug or combination of drugs is found.
Some might work.
And... are there any side effects?
Carbamazepine's side effects include skin rash,
double vision, drowsiness, dizziness,
gastric disturbances... That means farting.
Phenytoin's side effects include drowsiness,
acne, overgrowth of the gums,
nausea, vomiting, mental confusion,
mental slowing. That's it.
[Sighs]
[Debbie] lan, you're gonna be late for work.
[Man] lan?
- [Moans] - Lan.
Uh, I'm sorry, Earnest. I must have drifted off.
- [Sighs] You all right? - Mmm.
It's these tablets.
Yeah, well, them and the late night concerts, eh?
Listen, um...
I'm not sure you can do both jobs, lan,
so just have a little think about it, yeah?
As your supervisor I do need you to have a think about it, all right?
[Softly] Yeah.
[Door opens and closes]
[Dialling number]
Hello, is Corrine there, please?
It's lan Curtis from the Employment Exchange.
I was just wondering how she'd been...
What?
Just like that?
From having a fit?
I didn't know that could...
Oh. I'm so, so sorry.
[Knock on door]
[Debbie] lan, love, I'm going to bed now.
Are you comin'?
[Footsteps ascending stairs]
[# She's Lost Control]
[Crowd cheering]
[Tony] All right?
Hi. They wouldn't let me in. My name weren't on the guest list.
I didn't know.
Somebody should've. It's bloody embarrassing.
No, I didn't know you were pregnant.
- [Chuckles] - [Murmuring]
- Hiya. - All right, Debbie?
- Where's lan? - Congratulations.
Oh, don't look so shocked, Rob. It's been comin' a long time.
Hiya.
What are you doing here?
- She's a mate of Hooky's. - Right.
Hi. I'm lan's wife.
Hi.
Do you think it's right for you to be out in your condition?
Lan.
[Moans]
[Groaning]
[Panting] lan.
- [Woman] Come on, into the pain. - [Grunting]
Keep going... I've got the head, Debbie.
Well done, well done. One last time.
- One last time. - I can't.
Go on. Yes, you can, you can, you can.
- Good girl. Well done. - [Grunts and panting]
Good. That's great.
Here we are. That's right.
[Baby cries]
Ah, here we are. It's a girl.
- Ohh! - [Baby cooing]
Congratulations.
Mum and Dad.
[Baby fusses, cries]
[Debbie] Hello. Hello.
Hey.
I need a cig.
[Sighs]
[Exhales]
- [Telephone ringing] - [Thunder rumbles]
[Tapping on window]
[Door opens and closes]
Silklands Nightclub.
Part-time barmaid.
One pound ten an hour.
Mum and Dad can look after Natalie.
What do you think?
Well, it won't be for long.
I'll take care of you as soon as the new album comes out.
[Crowd cheering]
[# Candidate]
[Cheering and applause]
Well, what happened to that tenner I gave you?
Well, my wages are the same as everyone else's.
- Talk to lan, you know. Find out. - Mmm-hmm.
[Woman] OK.
- [Rob] No promises. - All right, I'll ask him.
Look, I've gotta go.
Give Natalie a kiss for me.
I love you too.
Not bad, eh?
The journalist makes us out to be a bunch of pricks. Who gives a fuck?
A bunch of cool pricks, that's what I say.
- Who's that? - Some French bird.
Wants to do an interview.
She's not a Frenchy. She's, uh, she's a Belgy.
- [Lan] What did you tell her? - I said I'd ask,
but it's unlikely to happen now.
It's only a crappy European fanzine.
Well, I'm all right. Why don't we do it tonight?
We can invite her back to where we're staying.
- What's her name? - Annik.
Annik. Different.
It's foreign.
I'll have a word, boss.
Annik? Hola.
Come on, then. Let's have it.
OK. [inhales]
OK, so, um... Do you like the Buzzcocks?
They're a good laugh.
Yeah, they're all right, apart from the "cocks" bit.
- There you go. - [Kisses]
What is the most beautiful thing you've seen in your life?
I saw a beautiful drum kit down at Johnny Roadhouse's shop once.
[Annik] What about music? Is that beautiful?
Some of it.
What about Joy Division's music?
Some of it, yeah, but...
...some of it's not meant to be beautiful.
Does anyone believe in love?
I believe in pure... sex.
[Hooky] I believe in feeling, yeah.
[Annik] What does that mean?
You know, like if I had a car,
and I felt love for the car and somebody kicked my car.
I'd be as upset as if they kicked my girlfriend.
[Snickering]
So you're not a journalist, then?
It's a hobby thing, not a full-time job.
I work for the Belgian embassy, for the chancellor.
Sounds interesting.
Free, independent woman.
I suppose so, yes.
Tell me about Macclesfield.
[Sighs] It's grey, it's miserable.
I've wanted to escape it my whole life.
What about your wife?
She loves it in Macclesfield.
You were married so young.
I've never heard of people marrying so young.
Yeah, I know.
My marriage was a mistake.
- Are you tired? - Mmm-hmm.
[Door opens and closes]
[Door closes]
[Debbie cooing]
[Kissing and moaning]
[Sobbing]
- Lan? - [Sobbing]
Lan?
What time are they coming for you?
Half an hour.